Spring Cleaning: How to Rev Up Your Sex Life
Cuddling for comfort and arousal could help refresh your moods.
Spring is a time of renewal and regeneration. In nature, rebirth is shown in a literal sense, causing trees and flowers to green and bloom. For people, it’s a time to refresh themselves, often through vacations or spring cleaning.
Perceptions of physical intimacy derive conceptually from physical temperature, according to a report published in Psychological Science in May 2012. As the sun warms the sky, your body follows suit, giving you a prime opportunity to connect with your partner on an emotional and sexual level.
The power of a strong physical connection should never be underestimated, according to psychologist Phil McGraw, Ph.D. “The belief that sex is not important is a dangerous and intimacy-eroding myth,” he writes. “Sex provides an important time-out from the pressures of our daily lives and allows us to experience a quality level of closeness, vulnerability and sharing with our partners.”
6 Ways to Spice Up Your Sex Life For Spring
- Don’t underestimate the power of lip service.
After interviewing 1,000 people for a study published by the Kinsey Institute in Jan. 2011, researchers determined that men value kissing and cuddling even more so than women. They also found that couples who touch and kiss for comfort and arousal tend to be happier. So don’t limit your thinking to assume that sex consists solely of intercourse. Start with a hug and a kiss, then work your way up.
- Do something that makes you feel sexy.
For some people, taking a long, luxurious bath in their favorite scented oils or salts, followed by a massage or manicure and/or pedicure can bring out their inner hedonist, placing them in a sensual state of mind. For others, their inner siren can be found by wearing sexy lingerie or having a Brazilian wax (or landing strip). The idea that their appearance or scent can drive their partner wild with lust fills them with confidence, and confidence is sexy.
- Detoxify Your Lube Life
Sometimes we unknowingly bring items into the bedroom that can create negative interactions with our bodies. While refreshing your love life, toss out expired personal lubricants and replace those that contain risky chemicals for body-wise alternatives. Harsh chemicals such as parabens can be found in many lubricants, and commercial, non-organic varieties could raise your risk for disease. Choose products that meet the NSF ANSI 305 Organic standard for body care, such as Aloe Cadabra. For tips on choosing an ideal lubricant, read Your Perfect Match: Lubricating Your Way to a Better Sex Life.
Romantic surprises help keep longterm relationships exciting and intimate connections strong.
- Surprise your partner with a night of seduction.
If you’re in a long term relationship, you know that without a bit of effort, romantic vigor can grow stale. Planning an evening away from the daily grind where you can refocus on one another helps to strengthen your connection. Need a little help? Check out Laura Corn’s book, 101 Nights of Grrreat Sex for some fun, fabulous ideas.
- Share your fantasy, then make it happen.
Fantasizing is natural and healthy. Exploring your sensual daydreams with a lover can enhance trust and intimacy, according to psychologist, Jeremy Nicholson, M.S.W., Ph.D. “There is an unfortunate misconception that fantasies, fetishes, and kink necessarily ‘objectify’ and ‘distance’ lovers from one another,” he wrote in Psychology Today. “Usually, just the opposite is true.” To alleviate any misunderstandings, let your partner know that the purpose of revealing your sexual desires is to enhance and strengthen your sexual relationship. If you’re both comfortable doing so, consider acting on them.
- Invite toys to the bedroom.
Whether you hit a brick and mortar or online adult novelty store, toys can be a great way to introduce playful fun into the bedroom. Dr. Debby Herbenick, a research scientist and contributing writer for Men’sHealth magazine, suggests spending online with your partner at a couples-friendly site, such as MyPleasure.com or Babeland.com. You may surprise each other in the best possible way as you discover what items rev your motor.
Remember as you ‘spring clean’ your sex life that positive communication is important. If some of your partner’s interests don’t line up with yours, don’t yuck on their yum. Be loving, but honest, with your feedback, especially if your interests don’t perfectly intersect. Through sharing, you strengthen both trust and intimacy in your relationship.
Author Kitt Crescendo
is an erotica author and passionate advocate of women’s personal and sexual empowerment. She loves to connect through social media and her website: theinnerwildkat
Association for Psychological Science, Warm Thoughts: Attachment Anxiety and Sensitivity to Temperature Cues
The Kinsey Institute, Sexual Satisfaction and Relationship Happiness in Midlife and Older Couples in Five Countries
101 Nights of Grrreat Sex; Laura Corn
Psychology Today, Getting Kinky: How to Share Your Fetish or Fantasy
Men’s Health, Four Ways to Use Sex Toys Together